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Free Trait Theory |
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2021-11-16T06:14 |
Professor Brian Little, a former Harvard University Lecturer and Winner of the 3M Teaching Fellowship almost single-handedly created the Free Trait Theory believing that fixed trait and free traits coexist. Free Trait Theory suggests that we are born with innate personality traits--fixed traits--but we are able to come out of our comfort zone and play a role--free trait--in the service of [[2d046c55|core personal projects]]#. Core personal projects are the things we value the most that improve our lives significantly. However, pursuit of such projects with no deeper values motivating us to play a pseudo-personality is called self-negation which can be exhausting and unhealthy1.
Furthermore, working towards our core personal projects requiring prolonged role playing can be cumbersome. Professor Little believes we ought to have our own "restorative niches" or a place where we can truly be ourselves as much as possible. A place we can "recharge" ourselves in: a quite place perfect for an introvert without the burden of entertaining a company, or a raving party surrounded by hundreds of extroverts. For Professor Little, it was his short trips to the restroom in-between speeches were he breaks out of character to regain energy.
But, not every time we get the opportunity to have restorative niches and others who are important to us require our time and attention, matching their moods, or participating in activities they are interested in, bringing us to the final piece of the Free Trait Theory. Free Trait Agreement. An acknowledgement that we'll each act out of character for sometime in exchange for being ourselves the rest of the time. "It's a Free Trait Agreement when a wife who wants to go out every Saturday night", Susan Cain wrote, "and a Husband who wants to relax by the fire work out a schedule: half the time we'll go out, and half the time we'll stay home." Lack of Free Trait Agreement can lead to a situation where others give certain expectation of you that you don't do so naturally--a persona that others knew that you feel obliged to serve up to, "reputational confusion" as Professor Little calls it. Introducing yourself to a new group of friends as a party animal while you secretly retreat every chance you get back to your elements is an instance of a reputational confusion that drains energy. More often than not, toxic relationships lack Free Trait Agreement, and as much as we hate to admit, its a burrow we dug ourselves into, blaming others if we fail to meet their expectations that we placed ourselves in the first place.
Footnotes
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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain - Chapter 9: When Should You Act More Extroverted Than You Really Are? ↩